There is no off season.

"The vision of a champion is someone who is bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion when no one else is watching."

-Anson Dorrance

The above is a quote from the winningest head coach in women's soccer history and our neighbor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. In case you haven't heard about him, he has guided his Tar Heel program to 21 national championships, which is about 19 more than any other program in the country. To say he runs a women's soccer dynasty would be an understatement... he's essentially changed the game. 

I've never been coached by Anson nor do I consider myself a national contender. But one thing I can honestly say we both share is a passion for a strong work ethic. Mine is minuscule compared to his, and I have less credentials to back it up. But even though it's taken some time, I've developed into a person who has a clear view of what's in front of her and a practical idea of what it takes to get there. 

If you've kept up with my writing, then you know by now that something happened last season that really stuck. I became emotionally invested in soccer in a way that I've never experienced before. You see, before then, I played because it was all I knew. It had just become a part of my life and as much as I wanted to win, I didn't really know the kind of sacrifice it took to achieve success. Plus, even when I learned that things like conference titles take sacrifice, I didn't realize that despite your efforts you might still fail.

But then after that, everything sort of clicked. I had become a different athlete-- one who is so strangely obsessed with my own vulnerability and sees an opponent as an obstacle rather than a threat. I was no longer on my heels. You can overcome an obstacle. People do it every day.

Then this spring happened. Our spring training starts in January, but it's all strength and fitness until mid-February. We then have strength, fitness, and soccer practices every day of the week and seven or so games spread out between February and April.

I've known what to expect out of spring because I've been through this process twice before. It's early mornings. It's two naps a day. It's games that don't matter for anything other than your own personal development. 

But something about this spring was different after having such an emotional roller coaster of a fall season. Our first game was on February 26 against Virginia Tech, and I'll never forget the feeling I felt when I saw my jersey for the first time since Memphis last November. I looked at it like an old friend, but one who I hadn't seen in a while because of a stupid fight or a misunderstanding. The last time I had that jersey on, I didn't want to take it off because of what it meant. I suddenly reminisced on looking at the game clock at the Mike Rose Soccer Stadium, seeing that we were down 0-3 with 10 minutes left against the #4 team in the country. "Savor these last few minutes. This might actually be how it will end." Before that moment, I was naive enough to think we would go on and win forever. That was the first time I ever saw the possibility of our season's end. In a way, it blindsided me.

The game against Memphis ended and I went against my own rituals by not changing out of my jersey until I got in my hotel room. It was a stupid jersey and a stupid dream and a stupid way to end conference tournament but I just couldn't take it off. I couldn't let go.

But then I came back down to real life and I thought something different despite being reminded of all the bittersweet feelings that came with the last time I had it on. It wasn't November. It was February. 

"A beginning," I thought. "Another chance."

And how's that for poetic? How often to we get another chance to accomplish something so significant? You don't get that extra chance to re-do a job interview, or that extra chance to say goodbye. That's what I love about soccer, or sports in general. Things are always seemingly fatal without ever really extinguishing your spark.

The rest of spring went well despite knowing that the team we have this year is very different from that of last year. Not bad different, just different. We don't have quite as much speed so we'll have to make the ball do most of the work, which is probably a good thing because when we play with one or two touches we look like one of the best programs in the country. 

I personally will need to be exceptionally incredible, hopefully maintaining a goals against average of less than 1 (per game). My GAA for this spring was the lowest it's been my whole career, at 0.85. Which is due almost in whole to my defense because we played rival teams like NC State and UNC Wilmington and I hardly had to do anything at all. 

We finished our spring season last Sunday when we played Wake Forest, who is one of the teams expected to win the national title this upcoming season. We've played them before so we knew what to expect, and we held our professionalism and played with confidence even though they clearly dominated the game. We ended up losing 1-3, and that marked the end of our spring season. But unlike fall, there were no tears. No embarrassment. No regrets. Instead, relief. Relief that our bodies get a break and happiness in knowing that the next time we'll all be together again is on July 31st, when our 2012 journey officially begins. A journey that consists of playing against arguably the second women's soccer dynasty and 2010 national championship team at Notre Dame, along with SEC powerhouse South Carolina, and a few other unique rivals before heading back to the Mike Rose Stadium in Memphis and fighting the fire at its source. 

I'm not saying that we're going to be a Cinderella story and beat Anson Dorrance's UNC program in overtime of the 2012 NCAA Championships. You can't predict that sort of thing, and trying to will drive you crazy. After all, there's only one team in the country who is completely satisfied with their season, and even that takes repetition. But what I am saying is that I'm ready. I'm ready to reach my full potential and I'm ready to make something count and I'm ready to have this team follow me if we get to that point where we're losing and frustrated and can't find our way. I'm ready because I've worked-- am working-- for the sake of this second chance.

Our last home game of the spring season vs. our ECU alumni